Saturday, February 26, 2011

What's In a Name

A while ago I read a forum discussing signs that a person might be a swinger. Many of the posters came up with little outward signs that most people wouldn't realise. A lot of the signs are related to having friends that you don't really know all that much about. One poster came up with a clever little joke that went like this;

Wife: Dave called to day.

Husband: Dave and Donna, Dave and Belle or Liz and Dave? Did they want to meet up some time?

Wife: No, Dave the plumber. He is coming to fix the taps next week.

In my phone there are any number of contacts listed as John and Liz, Fred and Wilma etc. (OK we don't know anyone who really calls themselves that, but you get the picture). The point is that we often meet people who we get naked with, sometimes after only an hour or so of conversation. Despite being so intimate with them we may never know their last names, or their jobs, where they live or any other personal information. We do know the size and shape of their penis, what their vagina looks like, and what they say when they come. Things a lot of their relatives and 'Vanilla' friends will never know.

It is strange to think that what they consider too private for the vanilla people in their lives is OK for us complete strangers and what almost every vanilla person knows about them is too private for us. Part of it is the obsession that most swingers have about protecting their identity, mainly to prevent their vanilla friends from finding out about their after dark activities. Many people in the world don't understand the concept of no holds barred sex between consenting adults, regardless of their marital status.

It is alluring thinking about having sex with a stranger. Not knowing a person and not having to see them again if you don't want to means you can do and say what you like. There is no repercussions or judgements to worry about. You don't have to worry about what they will be thinking next time you see them. The classic idea of the masquerade ball is the epitome of sex with a stranger. A mask protects your identity and no questions are asked, no lies are told. There is the freedom to act out fantasies with no repercussions. I think this is the reason that masquerade balls are popular in the swing scene.

In 'Manwhich' Alice lives out that fantasy in a modern day setting. She walks into a bar, finds a man and spends a night of unrestrained passion with him. There is no mask hiding her face or the face of the man she meets but there is a mutual understanding between them about what each of them wants. She doesn't bother with who he is, how much he earns or what car he drives. All she thinks about is satisfying her cravings and realising some long held fantasies. Unlike her friends she follows her sex drive with no reservations and realises pleasure that she never dreamed of.

Alice is young and single. She has the freedom to make the choice to create a life for herself with no clutter and baggage. Married couples have chosen to live a life with some baggage. They choose to spend a lot of their time dealing with mundane things like money and children. When they choose to swing they choose to give themselves some freedom from these things. They allow themselves to live in the fantasy world where they can have intimacy with people without baggage. Keeping the exchange of personal details to a minimum allows this to happen. The friendships they develop and the experiences they have are unrestrained by conventional expectations. For that night they are at that party or club or on a date they are free to be themselves.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Good Friends

There is something about very good friends who can come to your house and fit right in. They know where the coffe cups are when they need a cuppa. The kids all play together and when you sit down for dinner it is like an extended family. What makes very good friends truly special is when you put all the kids to bed and then the real fun starts.


We are fortunate that we have one of these friends. Every now and then we all get together for the night. We struggled a little with threesomes when we started swinging. We couldn't seem to get the balance right and come away with everyone feeling included. Since then we have managed to be lucky enough to meet a 'unicorn' who we have both become good friends with.


Being in bed with the three of us feels like the most natural thing in the world. Mr Gemma loves the feeling of fucking each of us in turn while the other kisses, suckles breasts and strokes and licks the pussy that has a cock in it. I would shy away from describing myself as bisexual but I do love the soft feeling of kissing a woman's lips. I love the feeling of her soft skin against mine and I LOVE fondling her breasts and feeling her nipples in my mouth.

Afterwards the three of us lie together arms interwined stroking and caressing as we drift off to sleep. The feeling of waking up with a choice of a man or woman to stroke is decadent beyond belief.

There is much talk amongst swingers about friends with benifits. What is the difference between a friend with benifits and a fuck buddy? Are the terms interchangable? For some people I think they are. For us they are not. I think in Ms Unicorn we have found a true friend with benifits. We can enjoy a meal. We know we can ask for a favour when we need child minding or some help and she knows we will return the favour. And then, every now and then we can enjoy a beautiful sensual evening. There is definitely a lot to be said for having good friends.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Did That Happen???

So a couple we met at a party (it was a fantastic party, but a story for another time) decided that it would be fun to hold their own private swingers party for Valentines Day. We were considered to be fun and sexy and made it onto the invite list. Now we are not complete party virgins but we do tend to hang around the club scene much more than the private party scene so this was a bit unusual for us and of course we made room in the diary for it.

Strangely in the week leading up to the big event we were a little bit blase about the whole thing. Normally if we are going to the club or on a 'date' there is a fair bit of grooming happening. Waxing for both Gemma and Mr Gemma, manicures, pedicures, making sure the hair is clean, (When you have hair as long and thick as Gemma this is an exercise!!) fussing about what to wear etc etc.

Right up until about 5 minutes before leaving I still hadn't decided what to wear but... sexy clothes were located, makeup jumped on face and out the door we went to arrive a little late. Apparently lateness is not 'done' in the party scene, Oooops. But we looked sexy enough to be forgiven. All the worries about shoes and clothing were really unfounded as the first thing I did after getting a drink of course was take off my shoes, skirt and top. When in Rome ...

The best thing about parties is that everyone is there to have sex. There are no 'just looking' people. Some guests are more upfront than others but on the whole everyone is there to fuck, a lot. It wasn't that long before people started getting down to business. Several men found the hallway a great place to stand and admire the women who decided this was the time and the place to practice their oral sex skills. Before long there were spectators and then other women decided to join in. Why the whole 16 people at the party thought the smallest space in the apartment was the place to do this was never answered.

After finding a bed was suggested more than once (somehow the men couldn't get motivated to leave the bevvy of cock sucking women surrounding them) the whole group migrated to a bedroom. After a brief interlude of girl on girl on girl a pile of bodies appeared on the bed. There was kissing and fondling of bare breasts, knickers were removed and flung to all corners of the room, condoms were donned and the fucking began.

And what fucking it was. This was not slow and sensual stuff, this was energiser bunny type sex. Fitness was a real plus. It was the most amazing experience being mixed up in all those bodies, breasts, arms and cocks. I can now safely say I have 'done' the group sex thing and I can tick orgy off my to do list. Until we get the next party invite.

I received a comment from my editor about a story I am writing involving a sexy young woman and two men. In the story she recieves the full attention of these men at the same time. My editor told me that he had never heard of a threesome playing out quite that way. I was surprised, having done it myself and knowing others who have also done the same thing.

Sometimes I think those of us who are involved in this lifestyle lose a sense of what 'normal' people think is, well, normal. With this in my mind I remember last Saturday night and then I think "Did that really happen?"