Some of what I am about to say sounds a little bit like a rant, but like all people who give a rant, I feel it needs to be said.
There is this idea out there that is purported by uninformed people and also sadly by some people in the swinging scene that swinging is really geared for the man. The general feeling is that most swinging couples are in the game so that the guy can get more sex. Of course these people must be right. Why would a woman want to be able to watch live sex, have multiple partners and express her sexuality freely? A woman is all about flowers, candles, romance, chick flicks and gossip magazines isn’t she?
All of those things are very nice and there are times when they are very important. But REALLY, if that is the best a woman can expect from her sex life, then no wonder there are so many disappointed women out there. I used to think I was the only woman in the world who liked looking at pictures of naked women in men’s magazines. I most definitely am not. I used to think that only really bad, naughty girls liked to wear short skirts and CFM boots. I’m not.
Guess what else? I am also not the only woman out there who has a detailed fantasy of being fucked by a bevy of strange men who I have never, will never have a conversation with, go to dinner with or see a movie with.
Our culture really rams home the stereotype that women are passive with sex. They are not supposed to enjoy sex or use sex to enjoy themselves. Women who do are ‘not nice’ or worthy as a potential wife or mother. We are not always truly encouraged to know and understand our bodies (there is MUCH more to sex than a vagina and a clitoris) and be confident enough in ourselves to tell our partners what we like.
During the course of my adventures I have learned much about myself; what I like, what I don’t like, where the ‘on’ buttons are and also how to say, “Honey I’m sorry but that is not doing it for me. Why don’t you try this?”
I have learned that sucking cock is not an act of submission; rather it is a gift that is bestowed on someone of my choosing at a time and place of my choosing. And it is a massive turn-on. I have learned that the right clothing can be as much a turn on for me as it is for my viewers. And, there are not enough hot shoes in my wardrobe.
For me this journey has been one of the most liberating things in my life. I was once one of those wives who thought that sex was a chore that women had to add to the already massive list of things to tick off in their day. But even after I learned that I could enjoy sex with my husband without it being a chore, I was still prudish and afraid that the things that appealed to me were ‘not normal’. I always liked slutty skirts and big boots but had nowhere to wear them. I always liked flirting but was terrified of where it would lead.
Swinging was the icing on the cake for me. Finally I realised that my ideas were not weird, that there were other women out there who liked the same clothes that I did. I found places where I could wear them, and take them off if the mood took me. Gemma the swinging virgin would never have gotten up in front of a crowd of people and taken a spin on a pole. Now, after a year of lessons, Gemma often gives public and private performances when she feels like it.
This Gemma is confident in her sexuality and comfortable with her body. She knows she has a power in her and the thought turns her on massively.