Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Line Between Pleasure and Pain

Pain is the opposite of pleasure. Although some people argue that one is an extension of the other.Many people we know enhance their sex with a little bit of pain.  Jake and I both love a nice, well placed spank either when we are 'getting warmed up' or when we are right in the throes of fucking. Mr Fix it is a big fan of fingernails down his back (Gemma always makes sure she is well manicured for him). Another lady friend of ours likes it 'Kitty Style' (that is doggy style with scratching and biting).

Our toy collection to date contains a whip that looks great but really doesn't hurt much and a couple of candles as well as some restraints. The restraints are great fun but a story for another time.  We haven't ventured much into the wax play side of things but it is something that interests us. Another item on my shopping wish list is a nice riding crop.  A friend of ours owns one and we have been privileged to try it out.  One of my favourite uses for this toy is some gentle taps on my pussy while standing spreadeagled at the kitchen bench.  I see you cringing. The first time I saw it done I felt the same way; but like all things you shouldn't knock it until you try it.  The key is to start off slow and gentle and work your way up to it.

So with all of this in mind it was natural for us to wander over into the world of BDSM for a peek.  I found a regular BDSM night that was hosted by a swing club in our area and Jake and I decided to mosey on over for a look see.  I have to say that I LOVE fetish style clothing, all that black lace and leather is hot.  Don't get me started on the shoes. Dressing for the night was great fun. So was sharing the hotel elevator with an unsuspecting couple while tapping my thigh high boots with said whip. I just love shocking members of the unsuspecting public!

Anyway back to the night at hand.  We arrived at the club and we were a little nervous, we didn't know what to expect but we were starting to get an inkling that this might be a little scary. The sight of people entering the club with small suitcases didn't help to allay our fears.  Neither of us really wanted to rock up to them and ask them to show us what was in the case.

I have to say the organisers were great, very friendly and extremely informative. They went through the rules in great detail and explained their experience and preferences.  Whilst I was prepared for the pain aspect of things, although not in the extreme that it can get to, neither of us was really prepared for was the 'Master / Slave' aspect of things.

The patrons of this club were very hard core but at the same time a friendly bunch of people.  We met a 'nice' couple who spent a fair bit of time explaining their lifestyle to us.  I have to stress that this is really a full lifestyle for some people.  It is not something they haul up and do on the weekends, this was another thing I wasn't prepared for.

In this case the man was the 'Dom' and the lady was the 'Sub'. I stress that this is not always the case it is just as likely for the roles to be reversed. We were interested in the little things like her serving him, not speaking until she was given permission etc.  I am a very independent type I honestly don't know that I could serve another person, especially a man, providing his every wish unquestioningly. The concept is interesting. 

What really freaked us out was the discussion that followed about their 'play' discussing about the Dom giving punishments that to anyone would seem extreme, canings, whippings etc. The Sub of course has very little say in what happens to them.  Each role has its responsibilities.  The Sub's role is to yield, of course to anything that comes their way wether they are expecting it or not.  The Dom has a responsibility to not let things get out of hand.  The Dom deals out pain and humiliation but only to a point that they know the Sub can deal with it.  It is fascinating from an academic point of view but when faced with people who really do it extremely challenging.

We chatted for a while and then looked briefly at some play. Then we both decided we had 'been and seen' and went off in search of a club that had some nice normal swingers that we could have sex with. Later that night Jake fucked me hard and gave me the spanking of my life.  I loved every minute of it but I am damn sure I will never kneel and present him with a drink.

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