Sunday, May 29, 2011

Why Men Should Join Slutwalk

All around the world women and men are joining the movement that is Slutwalk. At first glance it looks like this movement is 'one of those feminist things'. A protest by women about the treatment of women by our society but an article  written by Hugo Schwyzer shows that men have a place in this movement.

Schwyzer talks about a truth that we are spoon fed as babies; men are at the mercy of their libidos. If a woman tantalizes a man's libido then he will be forced to act in a way that shows no respect for her.

The truth many men know is that they can in fact have enormous respect and love for a woman who gives them an erection every time they walk into the room. However, being men, they don't want to risk being bagged out by other men. So they keep the truth to themselves and don't discuss it ever.

This lie has led to other stupid ideas being perpetrated as truths. Most of these revolve around the worth of a woman who society brands as a 'slut'. In other words if a woman is open about her sexual wants and desires or dresses in a way that makes her appealing to men then she is less worthy than one who doesn't.

What is truly sad is that many women believe these lies and pass them on to their sons and daughters as truths. We teach our daughters that being good equals being modest and chaste. We teach them to repress their natural desires and to be ashamed of their bodies. We teach our sons that women who express their sexuality and who are proud of their bodies are not desirable as wives and mothers.

Then we wonder why we live in a world of twisted individuals.

The author, Hugo Schwyzer, expresses his wish for his daughter;
I want her to have the freedom to express her sexuality safely and joyfully in whatever way she chooses, whenever she is ready (not a moment before). And I want her to grow up without shame about her own wanting and her wanting to be wanted.
I have my own wish for my son
May he grow up understanding that he is in control of his sexuality and knowing that he doesn't have to act like all the other guys to be accepted. I want him to have the pleasure of knowing women who are comfortable with their sexuality and their bodies while taking the time to respect and empower the ones that don't.
Sluts around the world are uniting in their rejection of these lies and participating in slutwalks everywhere. Find out more and see if there is a walk near you.

1 comment:

  1. It is true that a guy can feel love, compassion, respect, or any number of emotions towards a woman who also arouses him sexually.

    But I don't think that is really relevant to what happens when men are violent, either sexually or otherwise, to women.

    The key issue is the ego - specifically the insecure ego - and even more specifically, the ego which expresses its insecurity through rigid inflexibility.

    To the pathologically insecure and inflexible ego, sexual arousal is something which can be experienced as very powerfully threatening. And often the threatened ego responds with violence in a way which seems to make no sense to those who are not in the same state of insecurity.

    It isn't just sex that can threaten the insecure inflexible ego. Take away my money and I'll survive, the loss of money for some of the investors on the 1929 stock market was such a threat to their egos that they preferred not to live.

    And when it comes to male violence, it can be a questioning of the individual's ego identity. If a guy comes up to me in the street and calls me gay, I shrug and say "I'm not, but so what." A guy with a more insecure and rigid ego will break his nose.

    These kinds of events are great for raising awareness and getting people talking. But I think the big challenge is finding the key to unlock the prison of oppressive or violent behaviour in which many insecure individuals find themselves locked. What makes it so hard is that making them feel defensive is going in the wrong direction. They have to feel that they have nothing to prove.

    I suppose my philosophy is "Condemn the behaviour, but not the individual, since you haven't walked in their shoes." So for me to say that any man can respect women because I do would be presumptuous, as not every man has been lucky enough to have my experiences.