Years ago, when I was an young impressionable university student I had a 'fuck buddy' relationship with a guy a few years older than me. Knowing this guy was very educational for me. He was very open about dating other women and even went so far as to boast about his chat up lines. Of course it would have been difficult for him to resist the temptation to show off to an young impressionable young woman.
The chat up line that impressed me the most was "Hello my name is .... Do you want to come home with me and fuck?" He assured me that yes, he did get slapped in the face from time to time but more often his proposition was happily accepted.
Years later Jake and I find ourselves moving around the Adult Dating Scene. For the most part this scene is different from the singles dating scene because the people there are looking for sex and sex only. In theory there shouldn't be the agendas and game playing that goes on with singles. In theory things should be relatively simple and straight forward.
Oddly it doesn't seem to work like that. At least a lot of the time. We all seem to have some kind of ingrained behaviour that mimics what people do when they are singles. We are afraid to put it out there openly and honestly because we are scared of what people will do and how they will react.
We all worry and ask ourselves "What if they don't like us?" "What if we can't meet the right people?" "How will we deal with it if they don't like us?" A lot of these fears seem to hold people back from approaching people they are interested in.
As well we seem to be unable to give people a straight answer when they do work up the courage to approach us. We avoid saying "no" straight out when approached by someone we are not so interested in. Some people also seem to have problems with the answer no. They obsess over it and expect an explanation. Do they really want to hear a listing of the reasons the object of their desire is not interested in them?
My friend's approach seems to be the most logical one in this scene. Imagine how easy it would be;
Jake and Gemma; "Hi we are Jake and Gemma. Do you want to come home and fuck with us?"
Mr & Mrs Sexy: "Why yes. It is so nice to meet people who know what they want."
alternatively Mr & Mrs Sexy would say;
and Jake and Gemma would move on to Mr & Mrs HornyFuckers.
I realise this is a simplistic approach to the whole situation but it is a great fantasy to have. In the interest of exploration, Jake and I have dared ouselves to take this approach with someone next time we are at a club or a party. Wether we actually will remains to be seen, but here is hoping that we will not lose our nerve or get our faces slapped.
For the record the fuck buddy relationship was short lived and ended by a 'real' boyfriend coming along. I was pleased to be told by a mutual friend a few years later that I had gone down in the playboy's record books as one of his best ever fucks.