Saturday, April 14, 2012

Her Vertical Smile

Some of the conversations we have in our house would sound very weird to some people, especially if you were to walk in on the end of them. The other afternoon we were having a coffee with the Fix it's and got to talking about an episode of Catalyst that we had watched on ABC TV a couple of days before. The episode focussed on some sexual disorders that were both bizarre and for the sufferers quite distressing. You can view the episode here.

Of course the natural progession of conversation from that point was various names for female genitalia. This is something I find interesting and I thought I would share with you some of the more colourful terms and our thoughts on them

Pussy: We did talk about wether our parents would have used this stock standard term. I don't believe my mother does. We also don't believe Amish people do.

Cunt: Mrs Fix It doesn't like this one but I actually do. I was chastised once by a very proper English teacher for using the word as an insult to a male. He left me very aware of the 'real' meaning of the word and since then I have only used it in the right context.

Her Vertical Smile: Mr Fix It learned this one from his older brother when he was about twelve. I learned it from Mr Fix It about three days ago. I actually like this one although it is a bit childish.

Hoo Ha: No comment, this could be used by the Amish and probably also my mother

Gash: This is not one that any of us liked much but it was popular back in the day.

Love Tunnel: Really? I had heard this one before it doesn't do a lot for me.

Down there: This should be banned as it leads to some big misconceptions among children.

Slit: That really falls into the same category as Gash

Twat: Kind of the same as Gash but maybe not as offensive

Mut (pronounced moot): Never been sure how to spell this but it is kind of the same as twat.

Like a good joke I have forgotten the rest but I am sure there were more. Feel free to add some more of your own more outlandish ones in the comments section. Nothing like a good horizontal smile to make the vertical smile interested.


  1. Mut? That one's new to us, and we thought we were well-versed in slang terms for the female genitalia.

    We had a similar conversation with friends on Friday night. It wasn't limited to slang terms for the female genitalia, or the male genitalia for that matter, but it did go into some very uncomfortable areas, including slang possibly used by our parents. Glad to see we're not weird. :)

  2. Squish mitten, gut locker, ham wallet, bush, camel toe, clam, front bum, muff, snatch, mound. Just a few terms you missed. :)