Tuesday, April 17, 2012

TMI Tuesday - Illicit Skills.

This week's TMI Tuesday is about illicit skills.




If you are hesitant about confessing crimes…lie…be creative.

Jake's Answers

1. Do you know how to pick a lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access?
I do know how to pick some types of locks. When I was younger I picked the lock to my girlfriend's parent's house so I could sneak up into her bedroom to see her.

2. Do you know how to open a safe with a rotary combination lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access? What did you find?
I believe it is called a stick of dynamite. Although I have found this method to be a little bit messay.

3. Have you ever made a copy of a key you were not supposed to have? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What were you looking for? Did you find it?
I am pretty sure I have but I can't remember why.

4. Have you ever stolen or guessed a password? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What did you do?
I used to own an alarm installation business. I could have had access to all the passwords to the alarms I ever installed if I wasn't too honest.

5. Do you know how to get data from a computer that requires a password you don’t know?
No I am not really in to computers that much. If I had a need to do that I would call a professional

6. Do you know how to record a telephone call? Have you ever done so secretly? Did you hear anything interesting? What?
Yes. I once bugged a telelphone for a customer of mine so they could catch their partner out cheating on them.

7. Have you ever used a webcam or nanny cam to photograph someone secretly?
All the freaking time. I have got photos of Gemma practicing pole dancing, photos of Gemma sneaking up the driveway in the nude to shut the gate late at night. And some famous photos of some police who came to visit our boarder once when we were away on holidays. They had guns drawn and everything.

PS I really wanted to post the sneaky nude driveway photo but I can't damn well find it! Gemma.

8. Have you ever used an infrared camera to photograph someone secretly in the dark?
Well it was very dark when Gemma went to shut the gate. I also monitor a camera installed in a water reservoir for a client. This spot is a favourite place for people to go and have sex.

9. Have you ever learned anything important by deliberate eavesdropping?
I caught somebody plotting to kill The President. (Lucky we live in Australia where we have a Prime Minister.)

10. Do you know how to hot-wire a car?
It's not that hard is it? Well I haven't tried for a while but older cars are pretty easy. I once hot-wired my car to get home when I lost my keys having sex on the beach.

Bonus: Have you ever been paid for your sexual skills? What skill(s) did you perform?
I wish. Do you think there is anyone out there who would pay for the use of this dick?



Gemma's Answers

1. Do you know how to pick a lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access?
The only time I can remember trying to pick locks was in high school when we were trying to get into other people's lockers. For the record I would make a terrible thief.

2. Do you know how to open a safe with a rotary combination lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access? What did you find?
I have enough trouble opening a safe when I DO have the combination let alone when I don't. Besides I don't have a lot of friends who are rich or interesting enough to have safes worth looking in!!!



3. Have you ever made a copy of a key you were not supposed to have? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What were you looking for? Did you find it?
I have never made a copy of a key but at a previous job I had a master key that I used to go into someone's office one night and cover the earpiece of their phone with vaseline. This would have been a very funny joke if the first phonecall of the day for the unlucky person wasn't one where he was forced to listen to his boss yelling down the phone at him while he had goop all over his ear.

4. Have you ever stolen or guessed a password? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What did you do?
I can't recall ever doing this. Jake says that I probably have heaps of times.
Actually I have used my son's hotmail password once to look through his emails. He has changed it since then and I haven't been able to figure out the new one.

5. Do you know how to get data from a computer that requires a password you don’t know?
No I don't know how to do this and I don't think I could bring myself to.
6. Do you know how to record a telephone call? Have you ever done so secretly? Did you hear anything interesting? What?
No, that's why I have Jake. I am sitting here right now trying to think of someone I want to spy on. I can't think of anybody.

7. Have you ever used a webcam or nanny cam to photograph someone secretly?
Well this kind of thing is really Jake's department. Once though I videotaped Mr Fix It and I having a long session of sex. He knew about it though and Jake and Mrs Fix It enjoyed watching it later. They did attempt to do the same thing but they both got stage fright. The big babies.

8. Have you ever used an infrared camera to photograph someone secretly in the dark?
Does looking at photos of people sneaking into water reservoirs while I am at work count?

9. Have you ever learned anything important by deliberate eavesdropping?
Not really but I do find it endlessly facinating to listen to conversations between strangers on trains, busses and at the doctor's etc. Not because I really care about their lives I just find other people's conversations facinating. I really would freak out if I listened to a conversation about myself.

10. Do you know how to hot-wire a car?
Hmmm, short answer, No. I know how to check the oil and the water in the radiator and how to put the fuel in. I could also probably change a tyre if I really had to. I also know how to drive. That is really my total in car related skills.



Bonus: Have you ever been paid for your sexual skills? What skill(s) did you perform?
No I have never been paid although Jake is very fond of saying that he married me because of my oral sex skills.


If you enjoyed this post check out the other confessionals at TMI Tuesday




1 comment:

  1. Jake's too honest answers put all of ours to shame! We had to really dig deep into our pasts, go off on tangents, and sometimes just plain make stuff up in order to have anything to talk about this week. We've led relatively sedate lives, though admittedly we wouldn't change a thing. And your answer to #1 was especially ballsy. I've done some things that earned the ire of a girlfriend's parents, but never that.

    Gemma's #3 still sounds pretty funny to us! We're sadistic like that. I'm also a fan of listening to the conversations of strangers in public, mainly because I like to write, and this helps me hone my dialogue-writing skills.

    -Jack

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