Monday, May 21, 2012

Colliding with the Vanilla World

At this moment in my life I find myself very much surrounded by 'non-vanilla' people. Mr & Mrs Fix It have become a part of our regular social life, Jake's assistant at his business is someone we met through the lifestyle, I spend a lot of time reading blogs written by other enlightened people and I spend way more time using Gemma's Facebook account than I do with my 'vanilla' profile. Even our regular friends know enough about us now to accept our idiosyncrasies.

So it comes as a bit of a shock when we find ourselves face to face with people who are very, very vanilla and who really have no idea about our secret lives. I mentioned in my post I Am Back that we played a game on our holiday called 'Adults Only Majority Rules Trivia'. While we were playing this game we had one such experience.

Basically the game works a bit like normal pub style trivia. You form a team, the organiser asks a question and everyone writes down the answer. The main difference is that there is no right or wrong answer, the answer is the one that the majority of teams come up with. As the name suggests the questions are not suitable for children although I would hesitate to rate them as R and certainly not X. The thing that makes this game entertaining for players and spectators alike is that the presenters read out the answers that were 'wrong' especially if they are particularly gross, shocking or awe inspiring.

Jake and I formed a team with a couple we had met and shared a few drinks with. There was some argy bargy with another team made up of guys in their early twenties and we decided that our goal was not to win by having an answer that agreed with the majority all of the time but rather to get more of our answers read out than the Twenty Somethings.

So we played. I think our friends thought they were open minded. Until they heard some of our anwers. Some were apparently so shocking that I had to scribe and present them to the compere myself. Our friends didn't want to be associated. We were what we considered pretty tame. Our answers didn't make any references to group sex, picking up extra-marital people and I even refrained from alluding to my bisexuality. The worst I mentioned was giving a guy some anal stimulation while he was receiving a blow job and still this was very shocking to our friends and some other people in the room.

Towards the end of last week I found myself in a conversation with a journalist who was researching swinging for an article he wanted to write. He had managed to be invited to a members only event at a swing club Jake and I frequent. Talking to him was similar. Normal things we see and do when at that place were jaw dropping, eye popping moments for him. I don't really know what he thought after he went home and told his girlfriend about his adventures but I am sure his mind was spinning.

I have always known that the way I live is considered out there by a lot of people but I never truly appreciate how far Jake and I have deviated from the norm until we have moments like these. Whenever this happend in the past I used to worry that I was some kind of sick deviate and that perhaps I was a fornicating sinner going straight to hell. These days I kind of wonder if people find this kind of thing so shocking what DO they DO when they turn out the light at night?


  1. I love it...

    I have to admit that I enjoy the thrill of "enlightening" people in my own life on a sexual level. I work in such a conservative, sterile environment that people tend to see me as this very quiet, bookish, science geek. When they discover I know way more about sex than they imagined, it is really quite amusing. Shock can be fun - well, unless they tend to turn very prudish. Then they just need a good anal stimulation ;-)

  2. This is a topic about which we've written extensively on our own blog. We have to assume that most of the people with whom we interact on a regular basis, i.e. family, friends, co-workers, etc., are vanilla. Sometimes this is confirmed for us when one of the people in question reveal something "kinky" that they're into which turns out to be fairly tame; or when someone reacts with horror upon hearing something that we've done.

    It's extremely telling that your teammates made you present your answers. Now THAT is vanilla and, to be frank, pretty close-minded and judgmental. The specific answer that shocked them so badly is pretty surprising.