Wednesday, December 19, 2012

It Wasn't Always Like This


Santa is almost here but I still had time to write something wicked for Wednesday this week. I went with the temptation to write something factual this week after reading the prompt. 

As always make sure you head on over to the Wicked Wednesday page to check out what other wickedness is happening.  

People who meet Gemma for the first time could be forgiven for thinking that I have always been like this. I get the feeling that people think I have always been comfortable in my own skin, finding something conservative in my wardrobe when the occasion requires it, had a dirty mind and worn T-shirts that made people wonder. The thing that might surprise them is that I haven't 

There are some parts of me that have always been there;

I have always had great tits. I am sorry if that sounds egotistical but I am just being honest. My tips for having great breasts are simple, wear a good bra whenever you can, especially when playing sport, keep your skin healthy and do exercises that keep your pectoral muscles in shape. Also breastfeeding does not ruin your breasts, it is what they are for so use them as they are intended.

I have always liked sex to some extent. There were times in my life when I tried to convince myself that I didn't because I believed that liking sex was sinful and dirty. Thank you very much to the Catholic Church and their ultra conservative views on sex education for that one!!!!! These days on the whole, I just go with it but I still suffer from Catholic guilt from time to time and have to give myself a good talking to. 

There are parts of me that have only really been around as long as 'Gemma' some of them even less time than that;

Photo courtesy of Jake Jones
I have not always had red hair. In fact I was blonde for all of my life until about twelve months ago. As I got older I enhanced the blonde. It took me a long time to convince my hairdresser that the change was a good idea. It turns out that good blonde takes years to develop and she didn't want to undo all her good work!

Source: Groupy
I have not always thought that a gang bang was hot. In fact I had had several group sex sessions before I realised that gang bangs did not have to be about a group of men dominating a woman against her will. These days I am much better informed and actually think the idea of having a group of men to do your bidding is very hot. 

I have not always had a wardrobe that has trouble being respectable. In high school I wore coke bottle glasses and nerdy, very unfashionable clothes. Several years ago when Jake and I began the first steps on the path to swinging I bought a skirt that I wouldn't wear in public because it was too short. That same skirt is now considerably longer than one I wear in public regularly. 

I have not always been totally honest with people. I am not talking about destructive lies like telling Jake I didn't sleep with that guy when I did. More like telling someone that dress looks nice when it looks awful just because I don't want to hurt their feelings or saying 'I don't mind doing that for you' when I really didn't want to. Our journey through swinging has forced me to be more honest with people and myself, if only to prevent ending up in bed with people who really don't ring my bell. The knock on effect has been that I find it much easier to say 'actually I don't think that is a good idea' to more vanilla people in my life these days. 

There are parts of me that have improved over time but that are still a work in progress. 

I have not always been comfortable in my own skin. These days I often give the illusion that I am comfortable in my own skin. This is sometimes the truth and sometimes an illusion. A few years ago I would never have walked into a club in a corset and undies and felt comfortable. These days I pretty much do. Like all women I can't look at myself in the mirror or a photo and feel 100% happy with what I see but I am realising that even as flawed as I am I still have a lot to offer. 

I have not always been what I am now and I will not always be this either. 


  1. I can relate to you on so much. I love the end when you wrote, I will not always be this either. Such a true & lovely statement!

  2. I think it is lovely that we grow during our lives and get to know ourselves better and also that we never stay in the same place forever, but move on for more fun :)

    Rebel xox

  3. I found this quite moving. It's really contemplative, introspective, feels really honest. Thanks for posting :)


  4. I enjoyed reading this post and really like how you ended it. Also, I feel you on the Catholic guilt part,