This week's TMI was written by none other than yours truly. So if the questions suck then I don't want to hear about it.
Seriously though please make sure you stop by the TMI Tuesday page and check out the other confessers this week.
1. Do you think that acting out a fantasy can sometimes cause damage to a relationship?
Jake: I don't believe that it has to cause problems. Gemma and I have acted out several fantasies without causing any dramas. Acting out fantasies can be a great experience.
Gemma: This depends a little on the fantasy. A lot of fantasies involve extra people eg threesomes. In this situation there can be a lot of stress put on a relationship if the couple don't respect each other's feelings and boundaries and / or the third party doesn't understand what the couple want or they just don't respect the couple's relationship. Sometimes fantasies involve role playing or dressing and or acting in a particular way that one party may not be entirely comfortable with and this can cause a bit of stress. On the whole as long as the relationship is strong enough to work through these stresses then I don't see a problem but if there are issues that are not being dealt with then there is the potential for damage.
2. 2. Some couples role play their fantasies rather than introducing another person into the relationship to live out their fantasies. Do you think that this is an acceptable substitute?
Jake:No it isn't the same. I don't think it will truly fulfil the fantasy.
Gemma: In some cases I think it is fun to pretend to be somebody else eg the post man or a naughty nurse. Sometimes I think faking it can make the whole experience disappointing. A couple of years ago Jake requested me to organise to have a stranger visit him in a hotel and have sex with him while he was blindfolded. A friend asked me why I was bothering to find a stranger when I could just dress up, wear different perfume and pretend to be someone else. I was a little annoyed at her attitude because I really wanted Jake to have an authentic experience.
3. 3. Is there a particular movie or TV series or character from a movie or TV series that you fantasise about?
Jake: Catwoman. But that is mainly the costume rather than Halle Berry. I really like Amy from Dr Who but I don't think I would say that I fantasise about her.
Gemma: I honestly don't have a famous person that I fantasise about having sex with. There are some famous people who I wouldn't say no to of course but there isn't one that springs to mind as my ultimate, gotta have guy or girl.
4. 4. Apart from the obvious things like child abuse are there some things that are 'off limits' for a fantasy e.g. having sex with your cousin or rape fantasies. Why/ why not?
Jake: There probably are things but they don't spring to mind immediately.
Gemma: I don't think I would ever fantasise about having sex with a sibling or close relative but that is mainly because most of my closer relatives are not attractive to me. I don't really have a problem with other people having this type of fantasy as long as it involves consenting adults and it doesn't have the potential to hurt someone else eg cheating. I think if a man fantasises about violently raping a genuinely unwilling woman then there is something not quite right there either but garden variety rape fantasies could be kinda fun with the right people
5. 5. What is the most taboo thing you have ever fantasised about doing?
Jake: I fantasise about some women who are really off limits to me because of their marital status or my non-sexual relationship with them but other than that I don't really have any other taboo type fantasies.
Gemma: The other night I had a dream about my child's primary school teacher and I having a romp together. I do find this man attractive in a nerdy kind of way and I think if he went to the gym a bit more he would be smoking hot. However it would be all kinds of stupid to think hopping in to bed with him is a good idea.
PS Jake just found out about this dream and he thinks it is hilarious.
6. 6. Tell us about a fantasy that you have that you don't ever see yourself actually acting out. Why do you think you will never act it out?
Jake: Most fantasies that I have I have already acted out. One that we have decided is in the too hard / dangerous basket is to participate in gang bang where none of the men wear a condom. For obvious reasons this is quite dangerous and I don't ever see myself being in a situation whereby the risk is minimised enough to have this happen.
Gemma: I can't think of a fantasy that I have that I will never act out ever. I have a couple that I am very cautious about because they are pretty full on and involve several other people. If the fantasy goes according to plan these people could be random people that happen along on the night and this always has the potential to make things interesting.
7. 7. Have you ever pretended the person you were having sex with was someone else without telling them?
Jake: Probably. I can't think of a specific situation but I guess I have done it.
Gemma: No I haven't done this.
8. 8. Have you ever tried to make a fantasy a reality only to have it fail miserably? What happened?
Jake: I once tried to organise a birthday surprise for Gemma that involved several other men coming to have sex with her while she was blindfolded. I had lined up three other men as well as myself but they all found reasons that they couldn't be there on the night. One of them cancelled only forty minutes before which was very annoying. I did my best to pretend that there were multiple people in the room but it wasn't the same.
Gemma: The year after the cancellations Jake did organise for some men to come and visit me for my birthday. Unlike their predecessors they were reliable and showed up. We all had a fantastic night but I was diagnosed with Chlamydia about a week later. That turned into a bit of a saga for both of us. It turned out to be a lesson about the dangers of unprotected oral sex.
Bonus: Tell us about your most cherished fantasy. Did you ever live it out? Please give us all the juicy details because that is the kind of people we are.
Jake: As Gemma mentioned earlier I had a fantasy of being blindfolded in a hotel room and being visited by a person whom I had never met. Or at least not had sex with before. Gemma did organise this for me and I had a fantastic night. She did post a story about it on Literotica before she started this blog.
Gemma: I have a few fantasies that feature at the top of my list depending on my mood. One that I lived out was to experience a double vaginal penetration which I have described in detail here. This was an amazing experience that I would very much like to experience again when sometime when I meet the right person.