Monday, January 7, 2013

Disney vs Porn

A little while ago while trolling through the world of Facebook I came accross the following image,



My daughter prefers Barbie movies to Disney but the basice outline of each story is pretty similar. Those of you out there who know me personally will be very familiar with my feelings about Barbie movies. If you haven't had the joy of being exposed to Barbie movies then check out this comprehensive list and head on down to your local DVD retailer to check one out. Try not to stab yourself in the eye before the movie is finished. I won't waste your time with a rant about them because I tend to get carried away on the subject. Let's just say that I would rather my daughter watch episodes of Dr Who than either Disney or Barbie. At least the Amy and Rory love story is real and features the thing that makes all successful relationships successful, a partnership and recognition of both parties' contribution. 


I have to admit, I am not a massive fan of porn. I have watched it in the past but I get too caught up in the fakeness of everything from the fingernails on the girls to the way they moan. All of this gets in the way of the sex. On the occasion that I do watch porn I find myself agreeing with a priest who taught at my high school, "I could have done better myself." 

When I came across this picture I found myself jumping immediately on the bandwagon and thinking "Yes this is exactly what is wrong with the world! Men want women who are complete sluts and women want men who are going to sweep them off their feet like Prince Charming."

But as I thought about it more I realised that many women in this world like porn, and sex and they don't really expect that Prince Charming is going to sweep them off their feet and they are going to spend their days living a life of luxury with perfect hair and a wardrobe to die for. On the opposite side of the fence most men don't really expect the women in their life to fall down with their legs in the air at every opportunity. 

Of course most of us would prefer our chosen partner to act a bit more like Prince Charming or Dirty Slut Debbie from time to time but those of us who have actually grown up realise that living with it 24/7 would actually get a bit annoying after a while. Of course there are women out there who wish their partners would sometimes be a bit more James Deenish and men who wish their women who would be a bit more Martha Stewart but that is something else altogether. 

I have really struggled with the way that Fifty Shades of Grey has impacted people's lives and caused such a fuss. I only ever read the first instalment. That was enough to convince me that I didn't need to waste my money on the next two. Without going into the discussion on the authenticity of the BDSM scenes in the book, I have been facinated by what it was that sucked so many people in, especially women. I can't imagine that 90% of the women I know would find a guy asking them to sign a contract that made her his sex slave on the second date all that erotic. I also doubt there are many women, or men, that believe you can take a woman who has never had sex, or even masturbated or explored how her body works and give her multiple, soul destroying orgasms in her first sexual experience. To me the book was so far removed from reality that it was more of a comedy than anything else.
  

What was it then, that appealed to so many people? The best answer I can come up with is that Fifty Shades of Grey is like Disney Princess movie meets hard core German porn. Christian Grey is the modern day Prince Charming. He is heart breakingly handsome, rich, charming, suave, and sophisticated and he can play the piano. But, to satisfy the modern woman who wants to be satisfied sexually as well he can send you into spasms of pleasure when he touches you. What more could a woman ask for? 

From the male perspective, Anastasia is the ultimate woman. After a little bit of chasing she becomes that creature of men's dreams; a woman who is sexually compliant. The whole package comes with a bonus, she is a virgin so you can make her exactly how you want her to be a la Stepford.What's more. They don't even have to make the effort to read the book. They can just watch their wife read it and then they have what they want, a sexual deviant. 


So that is what appealed to so many people? I belive that this is a book for grown ups that combines the elements of Disney and Porn that mean both of these industries will be with us for the forseeable future. It allows people to feed their childhood and adolescent fantasies created by the worlds of Disney and pornography. But what about the original statement that these worlds created the two most frustrated types of humans on the planet? 

Despite my original positive reaction to this statement I have to say after working through all this I disagree. Yes I think on some level most women fantasise about being swept off their feet. Most of us really don't expect or want to become involved with an old fashioned Prince Charming type. We like having a kick ass wardrobe but we also like being able to have an opinion and be considered equal to men. There are times in our lives when we like men to take control so we don't have to but the reality is that these are times of extreme stress or tiredness and they are short lived. If it were to continue as a permanent feature in our lives we would be very quickly looking for an escape route. Of course, in the way of all women, we expect men to automatically know when to turn it on and turn it off. 

Men like to watch porn, well so do a lot of women really so that is a bit of a generalisation. But they also like someone who gives them cuddles and makes them nice dinners. Most of the real life men I have spoken to aren't really into the skinny bimbo types that feature in porn movies. I have real distaste for my stomach because it is not the perfectly flat version seen on pole dancers and porn stars. Jake on the other hand loves it and probably would hate it if I was successful in making it into the flat version I so covet. Most of the men I know like real women with real curves. Most of the men I know would also be a little disconcerted if they came home every evening to their heavily made up wife dressed scantily and bent over the kitchen bench, or the couch or whatever asking him to, "Fuck me baby with that great big cock because I am so horny for you." 



I believe that if there are people in the world who a frustrated because they can't find their Prince Charming or their Insatiable Whore it is not because they watched too many Disney Movies or because they watched too much porn or even because they have read Fifty Shades of Grey. It is probably because their parents forgot to tell them that the things we see on our screens are not real. Hell, they probably also believe that they can banish their enemies by jumping on them Super Mario style. 


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