Tuesday, April 9, 2013

TMI Tuesday - Ifs, Ands, and Butts




This week's questions came from a number of sources around the web, including yours truly (see if you can work out which one). 

1. If you had a magic beauty want what would you give yourself?
     a) Shinier hair, hands down
     b) Glowing soft skin - pass the moisturiser dude
     c) Brighter eyes, with no crows feet - I want to look less tired.
     d) Nada, I love what I've got.
For me plastic surgery, beauty products or 'beauty magic wands' are not things I ever considered using on myself. If there is a part of me that I don't like I usually subscribe to the more conventional methods of improvement ie improved diet and increased exercise. However or late I have caught myself wishing that I had less wrinkles and excess skin around my eyelids so I guess my answer to this one would be c). 

2) If you were spring cleaning your life what five things would you get rid of?
For me the challenge with this question is that if I can conceive five things to get rid of then why do you still have them in your life? Of course the difference between having the idea and putting it into practise is vast. So here goes
  a) Guilt. My guilt reflex is so overdeveloped that I think the word 'sorry' comes out of my mouth far more than any other word in any language in the world. Sometimes I even wonder what the hell I am apologising for.
b) My stomach flab. This wasn't included in question 1. I have employed more conventional methods for getting rid of this and they work OK, until people give me Easter chocolate, or I walk past a bakery.
c) My fear of being upside down. I joked with someone today. "My two biggest fears are being upside down and heights. Then I chose a sport that involves being upside down at height."  Nothing like facing your fears head on I guess. 
d) All the sex toys that I don't use or that didn't live up to the promises. I am not that big on sex toys so my collection is small but even from that there are only one or two items that I use regularly. The rest are just curiosities. 
e) I can't think of a fifth thing right now. So I guess for this post you will have to make do with four.

80 Magnetic Drive, Tamborine Mountain, Qld 4272
Source: Real Estate dot Com.
3) If money were no object, what kind of house would you buy?  
 I am not really a live by the ocean or water kind of person. My dream home would be in a rural setting. Ultimately I would love somewhere just a bit opulent that allows us to throw great parties that turn into orgies and give me noteriety with the locals. Something like this would probably do. This house has pretty much everything Jake and I could want, stunning views, 9 acres surrounding it to give privacy, lots of glass and lots of bedrooms. Follow the link to check out some other images. 

4) Have you ever visited an erotic massage parlour AND had a "happy ending"?
 I am not sure that there are any massage parlours around that offer happy endings for women. If there was I am not sure I would visit one. A good friend of mine (ahem Allysin) has a fantasy of having a happy ending massage like this but I am not sure it is on my fucket list. My ideas about this kind of thing have been coloured slightly by having friends who work in the beauty industry offerning bona fide massage and other beauty services. These women, who are often quite young have to deal with men who expect 'extras' with their wax / massage etc on an almost daily basis even though it is made quite clear at the time of booking that these services are not on the menu. 
On a more sexy note though one of the hottest happy ending stories I have ever read came from the pages of The Omniwhore. It made me wish I was a fly on the wall. 

Bonus: Using the handy chart, what is your butt type, spanked or not?
 

Spankification: Types of Spanked Butts by Dioneo Daspanca, 2011
 Surprisingly it is hard to look at your own butt. So I asked Jake for the answer to this one. 
He says the unspanked version is Cottage Cheese and the spanked match is Meandering. He also stated that was the most attractive type. He is such a sweetie. 

 Make sure you head on over to TMI Tuesday to check out the rest of this week's entries.

1 comment:

  1. 2. Lately my addiction is chocolate croissants from a new bakery. Every weekend I am there with my nose pressed against the window waiting for them to open. lol

    This question was hard for me to answer, too.

    3. Opulent! I am not into modern decor but that is a great house for entertaining. I'd come to your orgies. The windows are perfect for the voyeur in me.

    4. Around here there aren't necessarily brick 'n' mortar establishments but a lot of tantric massage and erotic massage offered by men.

    Gotta check out that Omniwhore story...

    Happy TMI Tuesday!

    -H

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