Monday, April 1, 2013

TMI Tuesday - An Open Book

open book

This week's TMI is interesting. Not sure how I will manage this challenge but here goes. 

If your life were a book what would the chapters be titled?

Your book should have at least five chapters or sections. 

Chapter 1: The life of a Catholic Schoolgirl Virgin
I grew up in an isolated community. The best schooling option available to me was home schooling for primary school and boarding school from age 12 for my high school years. I do not recommend this combination to anyone. I would like to thank the Catholic Church, several nuns, many more teenage girls and my mother for a nice collection of hang ups, both sexual and non-sexual that I acquired during these years some of which I am still wrestling with to this day. 

Chapter 2: The Big Bad World
Following my escape from boarding school I entered the big bad world. As a student I was still under the financial control of my parents but it is at this time I developed my talents for living a dual life, in one life I was the dutiful daughter, a diligent student and you guessed it a reasonably regular churchgoer. On the flip-side I had sex in cars with boys, wished I was brave enough to have sex with girls and generally did my best to get rid of the schoolgirl virgin image. 

Chapter 3: The 1950's Housewife
Source: Channeling Helen
Somewhere around my mid 20's I met Jake Jones and the revolving door of shorter term monogamous relationships and fucking sessions with random people ended. Within a relatively short space of time we were married and on the way to making a family. Some crazy suicidal part of me tried to live up to the idea that the modern woman can have it all and be it all. I am here to tell you she most certainly can not! It is impossible to hold down a full time all consuming career, be the perfect mother to two young children and the perfect wife. BTW in case you were wondering the perfect wife cooked, cleaned and ran herself into the ground generally, she also viewed sex as a chore, not something to be enjoyed. 

Chapter 4: What Goes Down Must Come Up
Of course as you might have guessed from the previous chapter the wheels came off a little. There were a few things that I did that I am not proud of but they turned out to be the catalyst for changes that made my life much happier, more relaxed and much more productive. The cherished career went down the gurgler. Mentally I see the positives in this but I still grieve for it some days. I became more involved in my children's lives as a parent rather than a housekeeper, and a very grumpy one at that. I also became a better wife, the type who asks her husband to hang out the laundry when she needs to and communicates better about what kind of sex she likes. 

Chapter 5: The Corruption of Mrs Jones
One very famous night Jake and I walked through the Big Red doors into a swingers club that was to change our ideas about sex, marriage,  people, life and monogamy forever.  Gemma wasn't born that night but I think she was conceived. The following years opened my eyes in ways that I can't describe in one sentence (maybe I will have to write a book about it sometime). I finally felt like I had come home. 

Pole Skivvies Pole Dance Wear
Source: Pole Skivvies
Chapter 6: The Pole Dancing Biology Teacher Who Writes Erotica
This is me now. Pole dancing is a force in my life. It has reminded me of discipline, taught me that there is no such thing as can't without the word 'yet' attached to it, and brought to my attention a huge fear of being upside down as well as the need to meet that fear head on. I can say that I have literally fallen on my head as well as many times on my butt, and I have used parts of my body to support my weight that were not designed for that purpose at all. The most painful I will say is the armpit followed closely by the knee pit. But I am empowered and come home from every class high with excitement. 
In 2014 I will become a fully fledged Biology teacher. I look forward to spending my working time with teenagers. I hope they keep me young as I age. 
The erotica part you all know about so I won't bore you with it too much. Except to say, "Buy my book and write me a nice review." 

Make sure you check out the other TMI confessions here.


  1. Thanks for sharing!

    Happy TMI!!
    I enjoyed the pole dancing biology :)


  2. A fabulous story Gemma. Thanks for sharing.

    My favorite chapter was Chap. 5 followed by Chap. 6.

    Pole dancing is so made me stronger physically and at times the high gives me strength emotionally. Did I tell you I put a pole in my house. Yea, I'm addicted.


  3. Oh, thanks for turning me on to the Pole Skivvies website. Fun!
    I hope I can find some of those stickers here in the U.S.

  4. That was a really fun read! Actually I still smiling.

  5. Great job gemma. This post, your stories and YOU yourself are beautiful courageous and inspiring!