June is Audlt Sex Ed Month. The movement was started by blogger @GoodDirtyWoman. You can read more about it here.
This week's questions were inspired by Sex Ed writer Jon Pressick and #dailysexdiscussion that happens on Twitter.
1. Have you ever tried having an open relationship?
Yes. As it is well documented in these pages Jake and I a currently engaged in what can only be described as an open relationship. The journey to where we are at now has been long and slow. There is no way we could have been where we are at today three years or possibly even one year ago. There have been many conversations both with each other and with many other people who are engaged in open relationships. Jake in particular was very reluctant to call what we have an 'open relationship' for a long time. He was worried about the connotations of what the term meant but after reading online and other resources he has gradually become more enlightened.
I would say that our relationship is definitely sucessful. We own our own home, our children are happy and functioning members of their communities we both manage to study and hold down good jobs and we enjoy our time together and with our other partners. Our communication is good. Of course there are always things that need workinig out but when that happens we get down to it and sort things out.
2. Do you have any sexual phobias? What have you done to manage or overcome them?
According to the true definition of phobia I can't think of anything to do with sex that bothers me unless you count being tipped upside down in a rope suspension. However there are a few things that I have avoided because they have a high degree of 'ick factor'. These things reside mainly around giving anal pleasure. Jake is a huge fan of this and so over time I have gradually pushed myself to engage in these activities and learn how to make them safer to combat the ick. For me anal (both giving and recieving) is still something very private that I only share with very trusted partners. I cannot see a time when things will be any different.
3. What is the best new activity that you have tried in 2013?
Double penetration, the conventional kind. One anal and one vaginal. I have commented and posted many times about my reluctance and hesitation about anal play but I have journeyed along far enough to trust two men to do this with who are both comfortable with each other. I have to say I don't want to do it every other day but it is definitely on the to do again list.
PS there will be more details about this experience in a post planned for the very near future.
4. Have you ever called in to a sex advice radio / television show or written to a sex advice columnist?
No. Generally if I have a question I ask Dr Google or post a question in a forum where I think I will get a reasonable answer or even better ask the world of Twitter. Given some of the advice I have heard or read on sex advice segments in popular media I think my responses from Twitter are just as informative if not more so.
5. Would you ever use the services of a Sex Therapist? Why / why not?
I am very reluctant to engage the services of any kind of therapist so I can't say that I would unless the situation was quite dire. If my partner felt that it would be benificial and was open to the idea then I possibly would.
6. Should sex therapists be allowed to engage in sexual activities with clients? Why / why not?
This is a tricky one. In general I think that a therapist who engages in sex activities with their clients is abusing their position of power in the same way that a teacher who engages in a sexual relationship with her student is. There are of course situations where both parties feel that there is adequate consent but I still don't think that it is possible for either a student or patient to give informed consent to a person who has such a position of authority over them.
In line with today's #dailysexdiscussion topic I do think there is a lot of space for sex ed classes that feature live demonstrations of techniques and aspects of the human body. Personally I have attended a couple of sessions like this and I think that the participants learned a lot from the demonstrations.
Of course this topic brought to mind the classic Monty Python skit which always gives me a chuckle. Apologies for the subtitles but this is the only version I could find on YouTube.
Bonus: Have you read any adult sex ed books lately? What do you recommend?
In line with my answers to #4. I tend to Google any questions that pop randomly into my head. The book that falls into this category that I have read most recently is the old standard "The Ethical Slut". Both Jake and I have found the reading educational and had many 'penny dropping' moments while reading.