Tuesday, June 4, 2013

TMI Tuesday - What's In the Fridge

A woman doing yoga is in my refrigerator

This week's questions were brought to us by the slightly twisted mind of Virtual Sin

1. Anything alcoholic, beer, wine, bottle of champagne?
Of course there is alcohol in there! We actually have two fridges with the main purpose of the second one being to hold drinks including alcohol. In the main fridge we have beer and some wine which is mainly used for cooking. 

2. Any guilty pleasures; chocolate or ice cream?
There is usually ice cream for the benefit of the children in the house. I like ice-cream but I don't eat it regularly because I like my ass the size that it is. As for chocolate well I can't say I am as disciplined about not eating that as I am about the ice cream so I guess it is never around long enough to live in the fridge. 

3. Any really old bottles of condiments?
Sadly yes. A few years ago I bought some pickles at a place we visited while travelling. I really liked them at the time but after we got home they lost their appeal and ended up living sadly in the back corner on the top shelf of the fridge. 

4. Frozen pizza or other frozen quick dinners?
Frozen pizza is the saddest food ever made. In this world where pizza shops are a dime a dozen why would you ever even consider having such a pathetic copy sitting in your freezer. Our family eats pizza etc as a meal very rarely. So if we are having pizza I want it to be hot freshly made from the pizza shop. 
I have an aversion to other ready made meals that live in the freezer as well. The closest thing to quick meals that I keep in the freezer regularly is relatively good quality meat pies. And even then they are usually served at our house with fresh, not frozen, vegetables. 

5. Anything actually rotten or mouldy?
At this point in time I don't think so. Although there could be a vegetable lurking in the bottom of the crisper waiting to spring out when I am all unsuspecting and wave it's rotten sliminess at me. Jake is a bit of a rotten food nazi so whenever he unpacks the shopping and puts the vegetables away in the fridge he has a little clean out and our chickens have a feast!

6. What do you have in your fridge that the rest of us probably don't?
I often have a jar of home made tomato relish on the shelf which was made by my mother or some other kind person. I think at the moment we have eaten all of that though. The other oddity would be free range green eggs. I have chickens in my back yard including several arucanas that lay green eggs. Just in case you are worried the egg inside is the same colour as other eggs. I think I also have a goose egg at the moment as well. Don't ask me what they taste like. Normally they get used for the purpose they were made for, making baby geese, this one we kept as a curiosity. 

Bouns: In the novel Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth the main character, Alexander Portnoy, masturbates using a liver steak as well as a cored-out apple. Have you ever masturbated with food? What?

I posted recently about my lack of masturbation experience here. Generally I prefer a toy or my finger or really a cock. I think I may have tried a carrot once. It was OK but not something I would do regularly. 

Bonus Bonus: We're curious, how many phallic shaped foods are in your refrigerator?
As you might have guessed I keep fresh vegetables on hand routinely. At the moment in my crisper I have about a dozen carrots, a couple of zucchini (corgettes) and of course a cucumber.  

1 comment:

  1. 3. Pickles in the fridge for two years? Is the packaging unique or pretty? Throw those babies out! lol

    That is so cool that you have chickens.