The prompt given by Rebel this week was;
I have had a few things ticking through my mind about people's different attitudes to things and as I mused on the prompt I remembered something from my distant past. In the days just prior to our decision to start on this magical journey an incident happend that to me now symbolises the mindset of a lot of people who are brought up with the popular image of a heterosexual, monogamous relationship as the only way to be happy in this world.
I was having dinner with some people from a workplace that I had recently vacated. The circumstances of my departure were extremely stressful and unhappy and I was glad that at least some of my prior collegues were still supportive and willing to offer friendship to me. I found myself sitting beside a woman who I had a small girl crush on. These days I would probably have been less shy about approaching her but back then I was still unsure of myself and very afraid of being ridiculed. I think she may have felt the same way about me but refrained from approaching me for several reasons. One was that I was married happily to a man.
During the course of the dinner she told me a story about a man who we had both worked with. I didn't know this man as well as her but she told me a story of how he had told her one night about organising a Gang Bang for his partner. My friend was horrified at the thought of a woman being subject to the sexual attentions of a group of men despite assurances from her collegue that this woman liked it.
These days I would have recognised what he was doing for what it was and applauded both of them for acting to realise what is a fantasy for a lot of women. Back then my only exposure to the concept of gang bang was a drunken woman being lured into a hotel by a group of footballers to be used as a sex toy. I had had a near miss in a similar situation in my youth and so my reaction to my friend's story was one of horror.
Jake thought that I had missed a golden opportunity to progress my fantasy of having sex with this woman by showing how sexually open minded I was. For several years afterwards he reminded me of how naive I had been. Once I was introduced to the lifestyle mere months after this incident my views on gang bangs changed radically. I had met women who had, like my collegue's partner, sought out gang bangs and I had developed an interest in a properly controlled one for myself.
Jake continued to remind me of that incident for a long time just to prove to me how untrue he thought I had been to my real ideals. He definitely had a point but in the end I had to stop his jibing because I thought he had gotten enough mileage out of it.
There are a lot of people in the world like myself who would recoil in horror at the thought of a woman opening herself sexually to a group of men all at once. There are a lot of men who think that a woman in such a position is just there for their exclusive pleasure. For me I have not yet realised this fantasy fully. I am attracted to the concept but there are certain things about it that frighten me still. I have been fortunate enough to have had three men at my disposal at once and I throughly enjoyed myself. I would very much like to repeat that scenario again sometime soon. (BTW Jake it is my birthday in about a month.) Maybe even with four men this time.
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