Thursday, April 24, 2014

Wicked Wednesday - Fantasising about Safer Sex?

This week's Wicked Wednesday prompt is focussed on the inclusion of safe sex practises when writing erotica. This is something that a lot of authors discuss amongst themselves and there are definitely a few different ideas about the topic. Part of the prompt was to write a piece of erotica that incorporates safe sex. I have copped out a little and shared my thoughts rather than an erotic piece of fiction. 

When I read this prompt I had visions of writing a humorous story about a germophobe's visit to a swingers club but somehow I couldn't get the thoughts straight in my head. The reality is that I encounter a lot of people in clubs and also at parties who have issues with cleanliness and for them visiting these places is challenging. This isn't really surprising because if you think about it swingers clubs are full of things like couches and beds that regularly get used for sex and so consequently bodily fluids are leaked all over the place. Kind of like a gym. 

Most good places have a supply of towels that are kept clean and so one way of dealing with things is to put down a clean towel like you do at the gym. Unlike the gym though stopping in the middle of a frantic lust filled stopping of clothing to put down a towel can be kind of a mood killer, just like putting on a condom. A necessary evil, yes but not one that most people want to focus on.

When I first started seriously writing erotica I thought a lot about including safe sex in my writing. I felt that I had a certain responsibility to my readers to tell it like it really was. I felt that writing pieces that didn't include safe sex practices was a little bit irresponsible because it was encouraging people to be involved in acts that could cause them some kind of harm. I posed the question in a forum and the responses I got from other more experiences writers put paid to my fears. The general consensus was that our responsibilities as a writer, if we wanted to see things that way, was to tittilate and spark the imaginations of our readers to a more fulfilling sex life. Not to educate them about safe sex practises. 

I am a writer, and a practiser of a lot of the things that feature in my writing. As part of my own preparations for these adventures I have educated myself about safer sex practices. I know a fair bit compared to some of the people in this world but I am by no means an expert. So who am I to give advice to people about what is safe and what is not? I cannot assume safe sex education as one of my responsibilities because I don't think I am knowledgable enough.

So would I include safe sex practices in my writing? The answer is sometimes yes and sometimes no. A lot of my writing is what is sometimes referred to as 'stroke' as opposed to 'story'. Meaning that my stories are purely to arouse people. Personally I prefer the term 'word porn' because that is essentially what it is, porn with words. I am not a massive watcher of porn but I have not seen a lot of videos where the men are wearing condoms and I have seen all of zero movies that feature the participants donning condoms or fumbling for dental dams before plunging their cock into waiting wet vaginas or burying their face into pussies. And so why should word porn be any different. It's function is to tittilate and arouse. If I am doing it right many of my readers will be needing some private time while they read, they don't want to be bothered with details of safe sex. 

However if I am telling a story of someone's journey then things are different. Stopping to put on a condom and dealing with personal hygiene is part of the journey. Then safe sex should be included in the story it is part of it. My responsibility is to tell the story as it is and maybe to include some themes that I think people need to think about more. 

So to answer the question, is safe sex part of erotica? I think mostly no. And I am sorry no I did not rise to the challenge. Although I am still considering my original idea. Who knows what might come to pass once the idea has ruminated around my mind for a while? 


  1. I think most erotica writers feel the same - it is not our task to educate. Love this post and hope you execute your original idea :)

    Rebel xox

  2. I agree it is not for an author to educate but to entertain, surely that it was writing fiction is all about! I'm not a great fiction writer I tend to write about what has/does happen to me rather than invent stories, although I have been known to create the occasional one!!

    Great post!

    ~Mia~ xx