This week's prompt for Wicked Wednesday is full circle. Reading the prompt I was inspired to write down some thoughts about what has been happening in my life since the beginning of 2014.
I have been mostly absent from the world of blogging for about three months now. As I posted early in the year this has been mostly due to a career change that has caused major upheavals to my life and chewed up a vast amount of my time. Before I started my new position I thought I had an idea of the impact it was going to have on my life.
I was kidding myself.
If I was honest with myself back then I think I would have been forced to admit that I knew I was kidding myself. But even then I couldn't have imagined the impact. Not just on my time but on my mental and physical health. As a result I have been forced to take stock of my life and really assess what is important to me as well as what I can realistically achieve in the hours I do have available to me.
There have been many times in the last few months that I have felt like Gemma Jones is a distant memory of fun times had in my youth. Along with this feeling is that there is a possibility that she will never be resurrected again. I have wondered if it is possible to be a responsible adult making a living at a mainstream job, be a mum and at least have glimpses of the sex goddess that I once was. What is even more frightening is that I have had glimpses of the person I was before Gemma came into existence. I have written on these pages before that once in the dark past I was one of those women who thought sex was just another chore on the extremely long to do list.
I never really thought about it at the time but being a sex goddess takes up an awful lot of time. There is grooming, wardrobe research, selection and acquisition, research of kinks and construction of wish lists, finding partners in crime and finally actually scheduling and conducting adventures. Some people I have met have seemed to achieve all this while holding down a semblance of a normal job and being a parent but to be fair their job is a lot more flexible than mine. I have days when I don't even get time to pee between when I leave for work at 7.30pm and sometime around 2pm. Let alone send steamy text messages and have long sexy Facebook chats to set up a date with a piece of man-candy. After a day like that all I feel like doing is collapsing in a coma on the couch. I have trouble rousing myself to be a little bit sexy for my husband, let alone turning on a full Gemma act for someone I barely know.
And so, I found myself wondering how and where I fit Gemma into my life. I didn't want to put her away in the closet like a dress that I have outgrown or decided is not in style any more. But at the same time I was finding it difficult to fit her in with my life as I know it now. In my reassessment of my life I came to the conclusion that there needs to be some Gemma in my life. There also needs to be writing in some format. In being realistic about what I can and cannot achieve I also changed the way I do some things. Meaning that I have rearranged a few things and found some space for writing. This has had a great effect of making me more relaxed and surprise! More Gemma - like!
In the last week or so I have managed to put up a couple of posts on Erotic Adventures. I have also managed to get some ideas out of my head onto my iPad and I am hoping to share them with you all in the coming months. It is still early days of adjusting to the changes in my life. I am hoping that I can maintain my focus and keep everything organised. In time it will become easier and I will have more time to do the things I am passionate about.
And so my life has in a sense passed through a cycle and returned to some kind of balance. It is not a full cycle because I have not returned to the Gemma of the past. There are elements of Gemma in my life but she doesn't dominate me the way she once did. Over time it am sure she will become more prominent but for now I am happy with her occasional appearance and sneaking cheeky thoughts into my regular day.
Swinging has also taken a cycle back to a more sedate and intimate style which I find stimulating and relaxing and for now I am happy with that. It fits into my life as I know it now well. In time I know that I will be having more Gemma - like adventures but until then I am happy with the way things are.
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For more sexy and kinky adventures.