Sunday, July 31, 2011

How Old is Too Old?

A certain acquaintance of mine asked me recently

"How old are people when theystop swinging?"

I had to admit that I didn't really know. I know there are members of websites like RedHotPie who list their age as greater than 60. (Please don't think that I am inferring that 60 is old!)

Thinking about this kind of thing is interesting for a couple of reasons. Firstly the part of me who still thinks I am a teenager really doesn't want to think about wrinkly people having sex. Funnily enough my friend who asked me the original question does fit the teenage definition of old. I am older than 30 so technically so do I. He expressed his reason for asking his original question this way.

"We aren't interested in any firm, smooth, young things like you. We want some old wrinkly people."

Err thank you ....... I think

The other side of that coin is the reality that neither Jake nor I are teenagers any more. Jake is past the magic 40 barrier and I am busy planning my 40th birthday.

For some reason 40 seems to be a barrier for many people. Even people who are at or close to 40 won't consider playing with someone over 40. There are many people who lie about their age on their dating profile for this very reason,

So we are forced to come to terms with our mortality. The reality is that right now we enjoy our lifestyle to the fullest and we try not to think too much about wrinkly sex.  However the day is coming when we will be wrinkly.  When that happens will the wrinkly people look different to us? When we are 78 and living in the nursing home will we think the 65 year old in the next bed is a major hottie?

Jake expresses his ideas this way;
"As you get older you don't see people differently. You will still think a 20 year old is smooth and very visually attractive. But sexually, being visually attractive isn't enough. You need the personality, experience and maturity that you find in the wrinkly people to give you satisfaction."

I guess I will find out the truth as we get older.  One of my ambitions is to be a grandparent who can not only bake a great chocolate cake but who can tell scandalous stories that my grandchildren love and their parents find very embarrassing. I look forward to scandalising my children by being the one who organises all the nude skinny dipping parties in the retirement village.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Please Excuse Gemma From Functioning

Dear World

Please excuse Gemma from functioning as part of the normal human race today. She will have difficulty in focusing on conversation and completing tasks that require memory or organisation.

She and Jake spent their Saturday night in the company of another sexy couple. 

Being a talented girl Gemma treated her guest to some oral sex and a good riding. The result was some intense orgasms on his part.

Her reward was some incredible oral sex which caused her to ejaculate several times. When she felt she couldn't stand it anymore her guest treated her to a good fucking.

Due to the time which she got to bed and the fact she lost a reasonable amount of fluid, we are expecting that Gemma won't be fully functioning today. She will be vague and probably have a headache. In addition she will be extremely horny and will likely need several breaks today to fuck her husband. 

We expect that this condition will last for several days but Gemma should be fully functioning by Thursday this week. 

We are not sure what her plans for next weekend are yet. We will keep you posted.

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Secret Life of Us

In the mainstream media the impression of swinging is of a secret underworld. Academic websites and articles comment on the difficulty of obtaining adequate representative data about the type of people involved in swinging and the effect it has on their relationships and family life. 

In general swingers are a secretive lot.  As a rule they hide their identity from the general community. This is done a number of ways; using aliases when meeting people, not showing their faces in profile photos on adult dating websites, separate email addresses for play mates, carrying a separate mobile phone for play purposes, the list goes on and on.

As we journey along this path we find ourselves changing our ideas about the importance of secrecy. When we started out we didn't put face pictures in our profile on dating websites and we were secretive about where we went when we went out on dates or to a club.

These days we are more relaxed about things.  We have a face pic on the front of our dating profile, we include our play friends in our regular Facebook account and we have introduced our play friends to some of our vanilla friends.  I must admit I never thought of having a separate phone or anything that clandestine. I just couldn't deal with that level of complication!!.

We don't push our lifestyle in people's faces, it is just there. If you look closely you can see evidence of it. If you ask a question you might get a direct answer or, if we think you are not quite ready to digest the honest answer, we might reply a little cryptically. Most of our more vanilla friends and family members know enough to know that they don't want to know anymore.

Our point of view is not the same as everyone we know. There are many, many people who are paranoid about certain people finding out about what they get up to on there secret dates. The reasons for this vary widely. Some people are afraid of recriminations from their parents, some people are afraid of being shunned by the people in their church. Others are afraid of losing life long friends or of having repercussions to their career prospects.

The cynic in me believes that for some people the secrecy is part of the attraction to the lifestyle. The excitement of doing something clandestine makes these meetings irresistible. I have met some people who admit this is part of the whole thing but on the whole most people will deny this.

Another thing that the cynic in me believes is that a lot of the reasons people put forward, especially ones about people in church or at work are merely excuses covering up a lack of conviction that this lifestyle is morally right. I can't help asking myself. If you don't believe this is wrong why are you hiding it from people in your life? Surely if you believe in this kind of thing you would be proud of doing it at least to the point of not lying about it.

I cannot know everyone's circumstances or families. I do know that the majority of times I have openly talked about my lifestyle to friends or the hairdresser or the beauty therapist etc the reception has been one of two options;
a) Rabid curiosity. Oh My God!! That is awesome. What do you do, how does it work, how do you meet people, how did you get started and so on. Once someone starts asking questions like this they generally have a positive impression.  I like to think that my answers in these situations have helped people to have a more open mind and the general population is more educated about swinging as a result.
b) Careful neutrality. For some the idea of their partner being intimate with someone else is very challenging. They don't have any desire to mix up their sex lives with other people and this is cool. These people often ask questions about the mechanics and also about jealousy but finalise the conversation with a statement like. "Well I can see that you enjoy it and all power to you but I don't think it is for me."

I can honestly say that I have not had someone be openly hostile about the lifestyle or end a friendship because of a discovery they made about me.  I will admit that I am a little circumspect with SOME acquaintances I have made through my children's school. This is not because I particularly care about the repercussions for myself but rather the effect if could have on my children's school life.

For me the sexual relationships and moments I have with people are an important part of my life.  I feel that hiding this from the other important people in my life like my relatives and good vanilla friends is hiding a part of myself. Honesty is important to me. The other side of this is the concept that if people don't accept me for me, with my bisexuality, multiple sexual partners, smutty stories and relaxed attitude about nudity, cleavage display and skirt length then are they the right friends for me? Probably not.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Are you Bi?

Sitting in the spa with a few naked people, (as you do) we had a discussion about the definition of bisexual. Before we go any further, this post is not a contribution to the endless discussion about this definition just a tale of what happened to me.

Every swinging or dating website has a little box that you have to fill in stating your sexuality. Most swinging websites have an option of bi-curious or experimental as well as definitely bi sexual.  These definitions apply to men and women but this post is mainly about women. 

So back to the spa, did I mention we were naked?  Now I have your attention again. As we all sat around exploring the various feet and hands under the water with other parts of our bodies the girls shared their take on bisexuality. 

Mrs A (whose husband was quite delicious I might add) had this comment to share.
"I used to be bi-curious but now I have tried it so I am not curious anymore." A sentiment that I share totally.  She then went on to explain that while she appreciated a woman's attention if there was penis to be had it was much more preferable.

Something which we all agreed on was that when and if we choose to play with another woman it is most definitely NOT for the viewing pleasure of any males who happen to be around at the time. We had all experienced situations when girl-girl action was a warm up for the main game. This is not a bad thing in itself, but what we all agreed is that unless the other girl was truly interested in other girls then it was kind of like doing live porn. For all of us that is not something we are interested in.

When we started out swinging I was bi-curious. I have had one or two really nice experiences with other women and one or two 'show pony' experiences.  As I have progressed along my journey I have become partial to the softness and response of the right woman to my touch and my tongue. 

I don't have this feeling with every woman I meet and there are some nights when the penis is much more attractive for me. But there are nights when the most satisfying and erotic thing is to be snuggle with a woman, twined together kissing and petting. The feeling of soft lips against mine, and exploring beautiful shapely breasts is incomparable. As is the feeling of a pussy when she climaxes.

This is something that doesn't happen very often but when it does it makes for a very memorable night.  It is never planned, and finding a woman that I connect with in that way is always unexpected and very special. So after we vacated the spa and I had enjoyed the attentions of Mr A I found myself exploring Mrs B in that special way.  Mrs A entertained Mr A, Mr B and Jake in the spa but Mrs B and I found ourselves exploring each other and marvelling at the unexpected connection between us.

I guess I need to change that check box from 'bi-curious' to 'bisexual'.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Is That a Dare?

Over the course of the weekend Jake and I were on our way to visit some special friends. On the way there we stopped off at a bottle store for some supplies. The theme of the party was 'Sexy Cocktail' so I took the opportunity to take our a rather special red dress. This dress is one that Jake purchased for me a few years ago as a birthday present for himself.  Before you ask I did not buy it and then out of guilt turn it into a 'present'.

So I am standing in the bottle shop dressed in THE dress accessorised with fishnets and a fur coat (fake of course). The attendant has seen it all before so he didn't bat an eye even when presented with a neckline that left little to the imagination. The guy standing beside me at the counter was another story. Our conversation went a little like this.

Guy: Hi there. You look pretty dressed up tonight.

He was a little shorter than me but his comments were addressed more at my neckline that my face.

Me: Thanks (to the attendant) I'll have a four pack of Illusions thanks

Guy: Sooooo you heading out tonight?

Me: Yep.

I paid for my drinks and out of the shop I went. In the car I told Jake about my conversation with the guy. His response;
"You should have said, I'm going to an orgy you want to come."

And so another dare has come into existence.  The first one is to approach a couple at a party or club that we have decided look nice and after a short introduction and how are you going chat say "I think you guys are hot do you want to fuck?"

Now we have two. Will I be brave enough to actually say that to a stranger? The really scary part is thinking about what he (or she!) might say back. What if they take the offer up??  Actually now that I think about it a little more, the really, really scary part is what will we think of next??